art-of-domination:

“Sir, it’s been two days.”

“I know.  You really must be desperate.”

“Please, Sir.”

“Well, sweetheart.  My hands are all the way up here.  And my cock is all the way here.  And you’re all the way down there.”

“Please, Sir.  I’ll do anything.”

“I mean, I have my boot.  Do you want to hump my boot and see if you can cum that way?”

“Sir.  Please, Sir.”

“Well, it’s that or nothing, little one.  I don’t see any other solution.”

“Y…yes, Sir.  Pl…please let me fuck your boot.”

“Of course, baby.  Eyes right here.  I like to watch your eyes when you’re being a dirty girl.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Just to clarify

instructor144:

dixiebelle2:

mussedandmanhandled:

In BDSM there are three separate forms of power exchange. In no particular order:

  1. Sadism & Masochism
  2. Topping & Bottoming
  3. Domination & Submission

Sadism & Masochism is the exchange of power through pain. Spanking, flogging, whipping, caning, CBT, nipple torture, even rough sex. Like feeling a little pain with your pleasure? You’re a masochist. Does making someone hurt bring you pleasure? You’re a sadist. Can you be both? Absolutely. I think most of us are, in subtle ways. (My Domme pointed out it was rather sadistic of me to tease my dog with a treat to make him do cute tricks.)

Topping & Bottoming is the exchange of power through sex. One of you is in control of the situation, whether it’s just for this roll in the hay, or every single time with your partner. That person is topping. The passive, or controlled one is bottoming. So if it’s being held down or tied up during sex, or begging for an orgasm, or edging someone until they cry… that is sexual power exchange. Can you be a top and a bottom? Oh, yes, you can. You can even do it in the same romp, if that’s what works for you and your partner.

Domination & Submission is the exchange of power through emotions and intimacy. D/s (the shorthand for this) is about rules, structure, discipline, and protocol. And that can be as intense as a 24/7 Master/slave relationship, or as simple as calling your husband ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’ because he said so. In between is a WORLD of amazing ways to exchange power mentally.

Rules are set in place with a purpose -not just because they’re sexy. Rules are things like: Check in via text when you leave work (so I know you’re on the road and shouldn’t text). Send a photo of your outfit every morning (so I can see how beautiful you look today, and compliment you). Work out four times a week (because I want to help you stay healthy).

Protocols are similar, they are standards of behavior, such as the way you talk to and address your partner, hand them a drink, carry yourself when others are around, or present yourself to them in varying situations. Protocols are brilliant for reinforcing the D/s dynamic. Broadly speaking, you’re not often reminded of protocols unless you misstep. So something as simple as remembering to stand to your girlfriend’s left and wait quietly if she’s talking to someone at a party can reinforce your submission to her.

Discipline is about reinforcing the dynamic and enforcing rules and protocols. Mistakes are made, rules forgotten. We’re all human. That is when discipline comes in. The transgression is addressed, punishment handed out, and then the slate is wiped clean. Add in some affection after the fact and you’ve just reinforced everything you are working towards together. The intimacy required for this is pretty damn intense, and it’s important to know each other well before diving in.

Structure is key in a D/s dynamic, because without consistency, it can all fall apart. Rules that aren’t enforced are unlikely to be followed. A Dom who allows his sub to get away with everything isn’t likely to keep the respect he has earned. And respect and reverence are part and parcel of the whole kneeling thing. Likewise, a submissive who is constantly fighting the rules she agreed to isn’t respecting the dynamic, and isn’t doing her part to make it work. D/s is a lot of work for both partners, and isn’t something to be jumped into too quickly or taken lightly.

—–

Now, to review, you can mix and match the forms of power exchange however suits you and your partner(s). And it is often different from one partner to the next. Some people fit the classic roles of Dom/Top/Sadist and Sub/Bottom/Masochist. Some people switch between sadism and masochism, while always remaining a Dom and top. Some people switch between topping and bottoming. Do you see the point I’m getting at here?

You can be any combination of those six roles in any given relationship, and that includes NOT being one of them, even when, traditionally, the others may apply.

Wanting to be in control in the bedroom does NOT automatically make you a Dom. (Say it again for the fuckboys in the back.)

Enjoying rough sex and spanking does NOT automatically make you a sub.

And you can very well be a Dom who doesn’t physically punish his sub or enjoy rough sex. And you can easily be a submissive who does not get spanked.

The definition of these terms is much broader than my summary, and will differ from person to person. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by feeling you need to adhere to a stereotypical definition of any of these terms or roles.

And if you feel I missed something, and it’s possible I did, as this is based entirely on my reading and experiences in my local community, let’s talk about it.

So very well-written. Well done @mussedandmanhandled

@instructor144 @the-faculty @dominantlife @toodomforyou. An excellent reference (IMHO) for you guys who regularly dole out sage advice.

All of this. ^^^ Yes.

At Any Time

sadisticgames:

 You’re sitting at your desk, well into your second cup of coffee when your phone alerts you to an email. The soft whiplash ringtone makes you blush and  you can’t help but glance around. 

 It’s from him, of course. It’s a special email account you made just for this. Of course, you don’t have to check it. He understands that you get busy. Work, family, responsibilities. But you aren’t allowed to open the email until you have at least fifteen minutes free, and he’ll know if you open it. 

 That’s why it’s a special email account and not your work or personal. He has the account information as well. He’ll know when you open the email. He’ll know if you peek inside but don’t carry out the instructions. 

 Of course, he also knows your curiosity is your worst enemy. It could be nothing. He does that sometimes. Sends an email with nothing to it, just to make her wonder. Sometimes it’s just some dirty talk, something to leave her dripping. But then… sometimes it’s a task, and she needs that fifteen minutes… 

 It’s fine, you’ll just wait. It isn’t a big deal. After all, you’ve got work to do, and you’ve got self control. 

 Less than ten minutes later you’re in the restroom, rushing to obey the email…

And of course, she will have to take a picture for him… one of those which make her drip even more…

sadisticgames:

Just one more

 As you open the email your hand is already drifting below your waistline. The first sentence stops you though. 

 “Keep your hands away from your cunt until you’re given permission. Spend the next ten minutes edging by rubbing your cunt against something like a bitch in heat. Use no toys, no hands, only fixtures and furniture.” 

 Fine… you walk over to the couch and mount the arm, grinding against it. It feels alright, but it’s the humiliation that’s starting to soak your panties. Why are you doing this? Why not just get yourself off and go on with your day? 

 After ten minutes you return to your inbox and stare at it. Over a dozen messages with only the first opened. Although you know you can walk away now, you aren’t allowed to cum. If you want an orgasm, you’ll have to keep opening the messages and hope one will give you permission. 

 Sighing, you open the next message and begin to read, your need for relief growing with every word on the page. 

 “After that little exercise I’m sure your panties are damp. Remove them, fold them neatly with the wet spot facing down, and place them in your mouth. Taste how wet you got humping in desperation. Now you may edge with your fingers for five minutes before removing them.”

 Each email would be worse, she knew. Each task getting a bit more humiliating, or perhaps more painful, or teasing. He wouldn’t make this easy. But… the next email could contain her orgasm… 

 After doing as instructed, gagging herself with her damp panties, taking herself to the edge for an agonizing several minutes, she opened the inbox again. 

 She could feel her pulse in her clit. She needed release, but she doubted it would be in the third email… but, it could be… 

 Just one more… 

female-orgasm-denial:

hornydeniedgirl:

He told her she will cum just once this summer, and it will be outside, in broad daylight, and she would be completely naked and alone. He told her she will beg him for it, and that he will not make it easy on her. He told her that the longer she holds out, the harder he will make it on her.

She said no way. She would rather not cum than endure that kind of humiliation.

That was in May.

On the last day of June, she lost her chance to have a vibrator.

“You really should have done this in June, you know. You could’ve cum in seconds with a vibrator, and been outside for a minute or two, tops. Oh well.”

By the end of July, she lost her chance to use her fingers.

“Wow, this will be really tough for you now. You’ll just have to hump your taped up fist to get off, how long would THAT take? And what a sight that would be, can you just imagine?”

It became his favorite thing to talk about while she sucked him off. He taped up her hands whenever she pleasured him, sometimes making her hump her fist while he watched. “You need the practice”, he said.

She was delirious with need by now, all the time. She found herself wondering if it would be so bad, but she always managed to steel herself into her resolve. She has waited and suffered this long already. Just one more measly month and the summer of hell will be over.

Then he casually mentioned that the same rules would apply in the fall, and if she lasted till September, he would cuff her taped up hands behind her back.

“They’re pretty much useless, anyway. It won’t make much of a difference whether you’re jumping your fist or something else. What? Oh, I don’t know, like a tree, or something.”

That finally broke her. She started to beg.

“Are you sure you’re ready? You’ll be naked, outside, by yourself, with your hands taped up, humping your own fist like a disgusting animal. Any number of people could see you doing that. Who knows how long it’ll take you. I mean, you’ve never cum this way before, maybe you can’t! You’ll still stay out there and keep trying, I won’t let you quit and run inside after a few minutes, you know.”

He kept coming up with all kinds of horrors to taunt her with every time she begged him to please let her cum. It usually ended with him taping up her hands and ordering her mouth on his cock, while he continued talking about her terrifying, humiliating outdoor orgasm.

Days turned into weeks, the month of August was drawing to an end. Her begging got ever more frantic.

Finally, with mere days of August left, he told her today will be the day. But of course, there was a twist.

“I don’t think you’ll have the self-discipline to stay put until you cum, so I’m going to help you. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt much, unless you decide to make it harder on yourself.”

He gave her the small mercy of setting her up in the back where no one would actually see her. He wanted her to feel exposed, not get arrested, after all. This location had the added benefit of giving him a great view of her, anchored in place so securely by that flimsy little string, frantically humping her fist and constantly looking around her with that terrified look on her face. Eventually she would stop looking, her long-delayed pleasure finally overwhelming her.

He just hoped she wouldn’t jerk around so much when she came that the pain in her nipples ruined her orgasm.

Her next orgasm would be at the Christmas party, with everyone watching.

Okay, this might be a favourite now.

Love it.

@hornydeniedgirl you are on fire, girl!