Time: No less than 20 minutes, No more than 30 minutes
Supplies: Your Hands & Your Genitalia
Task:
That’s right. It’s just “u and ur hand” today. Today is all about simplicity. No porn. No frills. No pain. Just your hand on your clit/dick gently bringing yourself to the edge.
Funishment: If you touch yourself for longer than the prescribed time then you MUST submit a picture to the Commissioner of the word “DENIAL” on the inside of your right leg and “SLUT” written down the inside of your left leg.
Well… I masturbated for about one hour today and i still have one more
edge to do before bedtime. I suppose that means I’m a denial slut.
Will you take up the JuNO Edging Challenge? #juno2018 from edging.space
Last year we held a bit of a spur of the moment event where lots of followers from this blog took up the challenge to not cum in June. Thus JuNO was born!
It was so popular, we’re going to do it again! But with a few tweaks.
As I said last year I want this to be a fun and very positive exercise. We’re not going to have any punishments if you fail, although there will be ‘funishments’ along the way. The whole point of it is to give you the chance to push yourself to explore edging and denial, and know that there are lots of other denial sluts on the journey with you. (Seriously, how hot is that…)
However last year, it still felt to me like there was a bit too much pressure to try and get to the 30 days, and a feeling of failure for all those who didn’t manage it – and while a month is ‘easy’ for some of you experienced denial sluts, it’s eternity for anyone new to this.
So here’s the deal – The whole of June is going to be dedicated to exploring edging and denial, but you decide what your target is.
So if you’re new to this, you may just try it for a day or three, and then cum! Oh but you’re not done, no… if you enjoyed it, try again, maybe longer, give a go to some of the tasks, chat with others doing it, see just how far down the rabbit hole you enjoy falling.
The objective for JuNO is to do as many edges as you can while having as few orgasms as possible – if you’re feeling happy and horny, it’s working!
You are free to amend any of the basic rules to suit your situation, but try to decide what you’re going to do, and stick with it!
I very much want this to be a communal thing so I strongly encourage you to start a ‘JuNO denial journal’ on your Tumblr and I’ll post as many of them here as I can. If you want to keep it separate from your main account learn how to set up an anonymous secondary blog further down.
Tag everything you post about it with #juno2018
If you are keeping a JuNO Journal please add #junojournal to the post too
You can ‘sign up’ if you wish to. But you can also like and reblog this note as an indicator you are getting involved..
Also totally encourage others to join in! The more the merrier.
As regularly as I can I’m going to add some JuNO Tasks, I’ll be reblogging and commenting on my favourite JuNO Journals, and also adding plenty of educational content. I’ll try and queue these up for most days but this isn’t like the Denial Advent event, the onus is on you to keep on edging, share with the community and make this something we all explore together.
If you really want to get into this think about setting up a secondary blog on Tumblr (they are anonymous) and posting daily updates and more on there. I will feature those heavily!
The aim is to orgasm as little as you can for the 30 days, while you deliberately make yourself as horny as possible by regular ‘edging’
You are to edge yourself every day with my recommended minimum of three times a day, once before you get up, once last thing in bed, and once during the day – but more edges is great, decide what works for you – life might mean you often do less, that’s fine.
You are to have fun. If you’re not having fun you’re not doing it right
If you accidentally go over the edge into an orgasm before your target date, you must immediately stop all stimulation and so ‘ruin’ the orgasm. If you ruin the orgasm like this you are still on course – but you musn’t ruin again that day and you must try your hardest not to at all (ruins will be given as separate, extra tasks, at points in JuNO).
JuNo is for women (and their partners) and those who identify themselves as such. Sorry boys, I know you love this stuff but you already have Locktober, NOvember and more. This is a ‘girls together’ kinda thing but feel free to try it, just please don’t be messaging me about it, thank you xxx
If you’re late to the party you can start when you want, just follow the tag below to get all the relevant notes and instructions.
To clarify what an edge is within the context of denial – it is ANY masturbation effort during your denial. It does not matter if you get to THE edge of an orgasm (although it’s great if you can and definitely a goal), as long as it feels good and makes you hornier, it’s an edge.
This also means you can’t do all your edges in one go, just getting to the edge of an orgasm and ‘bouncing there’ a dozen times does not mean you’ve done 12 edges. It’s one, sorry! My month, my rules. You need at least a ten minute gap between reaching the edge of an orgasm and getting yourself back there for it to count again towards your total (Just in case some of you want to go crazy and do lots of edges).
But the main point of JuNo is to just keep horny, have fun, and experience, I hope, the feeling of euphoria associated with longer term denial (the ‘denial high’). It’s also to help you gain greater self-confidence, sexual positivity and to discover, I hope, that you do actually have some self-control!
This is not a competition – it’s a collaborative experience. So please, post updates on your blogs, send me submissions and asks with updates. Anything that I think is of interest will get posted, if it’s positive or negative, share your experience.
Let’s support each other my lovely followers. There are 55,000 of you horny little fuckers following this blog and I know for a fact at least the same who visit every month and get off to it.
Now’s the time, turn the fantasy into a reality. Join in with thousands of women across the world edging and denying their orgasms, not just because it’s kinky and sexy as fuck, but because it makes you feel AMAZING.
So are you ready, my little denial slut? Are you ready to make your pussy drip, your clit ache and show us alljust what you’re capable of?
Yes?
IT IS! Let’s do this!
Enjoy the last might of your freedom (if you have it…), it’s the last time you cum just when you want to. Edge, read this blog, browse last year’s experiences, think about what target you are going to set, and sign up here if that’ll add to the fun:
Well, I met a pretty little girl some days ago who complained that none of her lovers have ever tied her up. And she always wanted to see how it’s like. So, I keep imagining this:
“Oh, come on! Why did you stop? I was just about to cum!”
“Well you told me your fantasy, but never asked about mine. Maybe you should have. This is called an ‘edge’.”
“I see. So, you lick me but don’t let me cum?”
“Oh no, it’s way more than that. The way I see it you have two choices: Either I do this again and you cum without telling me you were getting close in the first place -which will end up in me untying you and we can have some normal, old-fashioned, ordinary sex-, or you warn me that you’re getting close and you sit back and watch what I do. It’s your choice, really. But, you either choose one or the other. There’s no turning back.”
“…”
*starts licking her slowly for some minutes*
“…mh…ugh… ok, fuck it. I’m so close.”
*licks slower and lighter every moment until stopping after some minutes*
“What the fuck. Literally any kind of touch would make me cum right now.”
“Good. This would be number two. Keep counting.”
“What?! How many?”
*starts licking slowly*
“Ah. Fuck.”
—an hour or so later—
“F– F– Fif– Fifty.”
“Good girl. I think we’re done for now. Did you like it?” *starts caressing her hole lightly with his fingers*
“W– Wait. You– You’re not gonna let me cum?!”
“I asked you something: Did you like it?”
“Fuck. Ok, yes, I did. But, I can’t really think straight with your hand still touching me there.”
“Good. So, now, you have two choices again. You either go home and masturbate to ease the frustration, or you literally don’t even touch that little pussy until we meet again in two days. And oh, believe me, I’ll know what you chose.”
… Every problem looks like a nail”. It’s an old saying, but it’s still very relevant today. Too many people try to tackle too many problems without first equipping themselves with the proper tools to get the job done. As you can expect, the results are often sloppy and frustrating for everyone.
We see the same problems in D/s relationships. Too many Doms try to handle every problem with rules and punishments and rewards. To make matters worse, they go into it with a very limited selection of punishments and rewards, usually selected because of the interests of the Dom. These situations are almost always doomed to failure.
First, let’s look at the things that should and should not be placed within the scope of the dynamic:
Should: behaviors and routines designed to promote health and well-being, foster and promote respect (titles and acts of service), and any things that mutually agree upon where structure and discipline can be of value.
Should not: mental health issues (more on this in a moment) including addiction, self-harm, eating disorders, unilaterally imposed fitness demands, and anything that either of you determine are hard limits.
About mental health issues – while the structure of this life and the safety and security of a healthy relationship can be invaluable in easing the problems caused by mental health issues, they are no substitute for proper treatment. Kink Aware therapists are a thing, and I strongly encourage you to see if there are any near you. Also, you should never punish a sub for struggling with their issues.
Second, let’s look at rewards and punishments. There are four main categories:
Positive Rewards – These are the easiest ones to understand. Do this and you get that.
Negative Rewards – Removing something unpleasant as a reward.
Positive Punishment – Because you did this, now you get this…
Negative Punishment – Taking away something pleasurable as a punishment.
From a behavior modification standpoint, rewards are better than punishment. The more rewarding something is for the sub, the more impactful it will be for modifying behavior. Unfortunately, even the most rewarding things can lose their effect over time. Fortunately, there’s a way to make sure that the behavior persists.
Once you have established the routine and the sub is expecting the reward and reliably completing the task, vary the frequency of the reward. Make it unpredictable, that way there’s no way to know when the rewards are coming. The behavior will persist in anticipation of the reward! Note: be sure to communicate with your sub the entire time so that they know not to always expect the reward. Failure to set proper expectations can make you look inattentive or lazy instead of wise and benevolent.
Be creative with both your rewards and punishments. Spanking is not appropriate for every punishment, and I like to use it for a reward more than a punishment anyways. Learn your sub and find out what makes their eyes light up – these are the things that you should focus on.
Until next time!
Pour mes lecteurs francophones, la traduction de ce texte (Texte original : @dinodaddy).
« Quand
le seul outil que vous avez est un marteau…
…, chaque problème ressemble à un clou ».
C’est un vieux dicton, mais il est toujours d’actualité
aujourd’hui. Trop de gens tentent de régler des problèmes sans
s’être auparavant équipés de bons outils pour faire le boulot.
Comme vous pouvez vous en douter, les résultats sont souvent piteux
et frustrants pour tout le monde.
Nous rencontrons les mêmes problèmes dans les
relations D/s. Trop de Dominants tentent de régler les problèmes à
coup de règles, de punitions et de récompenses. Et pour empirer les
choses, ils n’utilisent qu’un nombre limité de punitions et de
récompenses, généralement choisis au regard des centres d’intérêts
du Dominant. De telles situations conduisent presque toujours à
l’échec.
Tout d’abord, voyons toutes les choses qui
doivent ou qui ne doivent pas être placées dans le champ de la
dynamique :
Doit : les comportements et les habitudes
conçues pour préserver/améliorer la santé et le bien-être,
favoriser et préserver le respect (les titres et les services), et
tout ce sur quoi l’on s’est mutuellement mis d’accord à propos
du cadre et de la discipline valent la peine.
Ne doit pas : les problématiques de santé
mentale (je développe ce point dans un moment), comprenant les
addictions, l’auto-mutilation, les troubles alimentaires, les
règles de fitness imposées unilatéralement, et tout ce que l’un
ou l’autre a identifié comme une limite absolue.
A propos des problématiques de santé mentale –
si le cadre de ce genre de vie, ainsi que la sécurité et la sûreté
d’une relation saine sont inestimables pour apaiser les troubles
causés par les problèmes de santé mentale, ils ne remplaceront
jamais un traitement adéquat. Les thérapeutes familiarisés au
monde du kink sont utiles, et je vous encourage fortement à en
consulter si l’un d’entre eux exerce près de chez vous. De la
même manière, vous ne devez jamais punir un(e) soumis(e) lorsque
qu’il/elle se débat avec ses problèmes de santé mentale.
Ensuite, examinons les récompenses et les
punitions. Il y a 4 grandes catégories :
Les récompenses positives – ce sont les plus
simples à comprendre. Fais ceci et tu auras cela.
Les récompenses négatives – retirer quelque
chose de déplaisant en guise de récompense.
Les punitions positives – parce que tu as fait
cela, maintenant tu as ça…
Les punitions négatives – enlever quelque chose
de plaisant en guise de punition.
En matière de modification comportementale, les
récompenses fonctionnent bien mieux que les punitions. Plus la
récompense est grande pour le/la soumis(e), plus l’impact sera
puissant pour modifier le comportement. Malheureusement, même la
plus grande des récompense peut perdre son effet avec le temps.
Heureusement, il y a un moyen de s’assurer que le bon comportement
persiste.
Une fois que vous avez mis en place l’habitude
et que le/la soumis(e) attend la récompense et fais ce qui lui est
demandé, varier la fréquence des récompenses. Rendez les
imprévisibles, de cette manière pas moyen de savoir quand il y aura
une récompense. Le comportement persistera du fait de l’anticipation
de la récompense ! NB : Discutez-en avec votre soumis(e)
de manière à ce qu’il/elle n’attende pas une récompense
systématique. Manquer d’établir des attentes claires peut vous
faire paraître inattentif ou paresseux au lieu d’éclairé et
investi.
Soyez
créatif aussi bien en matière de récompenses que de punitions.
La fessée n’est pas toujours appropriée en guise de punition, et
quoi qu’il en soit, j’apprécie plus de l’utiliser en guise de
récompense que comme une punition. Apprenez à connaître votre
soumis(e) et ce qui allume ses yeux – c’est sur ces choses là
qu’il faut vous concentrer.
So I posted the other night about my agonising frustration from denial. Now, though, you get to participate even more in my abject humiliation. Here’s a clip from my messages, begging SG-uk for something I knew I’d hate – to be a no-orgasm, anal-only slut – but I was so desperate for release (which never came) I’d have done anything. Perverse, I know.
The cruelest thing is that he has given me my “wish”, and informed me that I am now anal-only and orgasm-free for the foreseeable future (i.e. until he decides otherwise. Which he tells me is likely to be quite some time).
@the-sadist-gentleman-uk generously thought you might enjoy seeing my pathetic, eager messages, and so told me to post them. He knew how humiliating I’d find it.
Do let us/him know if you like this little peek and want more. He also says that if this post gets 500 notes, he will have me add more photos of my plugged arse and poor, denied pussy. So share (gulp)* if you want to see the state to which I’ve been reduced!
* @odalisque-uk blushes and wants to sink into the floor with embarrassment
As a Dominant I’m not here to always say Yes to her wants and before I get an endless amount of anons telling me that I am abusive and cruel for saying No, let me tell you something.
I am not here to freely give her what she wants, when she wants it but when I want to give it to her, when I feel she has earned it, when she is at a time where I deem it appropriate and this can be anything from orgasms to junk food, to getting to stay up past her bedtime to getting to buy that expensive dress.
She is to learn that there is a difference between Yes and No and that they both sound equally as good, under the right circumstance and that my decision is for her own good. That I know best.
Often enough when she asks for permission to touch and to experience that pleasure or to eat that particular piece of junk food, I ask her one very simple question. “Is it a Need or a Want?”
Too many times I feel that some (not all) submissive’s hear the word Yes and get exactly what they want. They are simply given and know to expect it every time they ask. I however want to have her hanging onto my every word, unsure as to if I will say Yes or No but being thankful regardless of the outcome.
That what she may deem as a Need is more of Want and A Want is no more than a subtle need. It’s how you read your submissive, to understand her, to continuously learn about what makes her tick, regardless of how long you have been together.
I want her to know the difference between Yes and No, Need and Want and thank me for both because she trusts that I know what’s best for her and I will make that decision.
– ATFOM.
Pour mes lecteurs francophones, la traduction de ce texte (Texte original : At The Feet Of Men).
Ne pas toujours dire Oui.
En tant que
Dominant, je ne cède pas systématiquement à ses envies et, avant
qu’un nombre incalculable d’anonymes me vilipendent au motif que
dire Non fait de moi quelqu’un d’abusif et de cruel, laissez moi
vous dire ceci.
Je ne suis pas là
pour lui donner ce qu’elle veut, quand elle le veut mais je
souhaite satisfaire ses envies, une fois qu’elle l’a mérité,
quand j’estime que c’est le moment opportun, et cela peut aller
de l’orgasme à la malbouffe, de veiller plus tard que son heure de
coucher ou d’acheter cette robe au prix exhorbitant.
Elle doit apprendre
la différence entre Oui et Non et que les deux réponses peuvent
être tout aussi adéquates selon les circonstances et que je prends
ma décision pour son bien, que je suis le mieux à même
d’apprécier.
Très souvent, quand
elle me demande la permission de se masturber et de savourer ce
plaisir ou de manger ce plat particulièrement déséquilibré, je
lui pose une question très simple. « Est ce que c’est une
envie ou un besoin ? ».
Trop souvent, j’ai
l’impression que certaines (pas toutes) soumises entendent Oui et
ont exactement ce qu’elles veulent. On le leur donne simplement et
elles s’attendent à l’entendre à chaque fois qu’elles réclament
quelque chose. J’aspire quant à moi à ce qu’elles soient
pendues à mes lèvres, sans savoir si je vais dire Oui ou Non, mais
en étant reconnaissante quelle que soit ma réponse.
Peut être
comprendra-t-elle alors qu’un besoin est plus qu’une envie et
qu’une envie est bien moins que le plus subtil des besoins. C’est
ainsi que vous allez lire dans votre soumise, pour la comprendre et
pour continuellement apprendre ce qui la motive, et cela,
indépendamment du temps que vous avez déjà passé ensemble.
Je veux qu’elle
connaisse la différence en Oui et Non, Besoin et Envie et qu’elle
me remercie pour les deux parce qu’elle me fait confiance pour
savoir ce qui est le meilleur pour elle et pour prendre cette
décision.
MindlessFucktoy 